“Sheet music is like Morse code—the ability to decipher its dots and dashes comes in handy at turn-of-the-century dinner parties.”
So I’m subscribed to Groupon and recently I read an advert for some known music shop who is discounting lessons. The first line is what you saw quoted above. Then it continues without really extrapolating on that first sentence with
“Impress guests with today’s Groupon: for $70, you receive four 30-minute vocal and/or piano lessons at Lori Moran Music (a $160 value). This deal is valid at the following Lori Moran Music locations: Mid-Wilshire, Westwood (piano lessons only), West Hollywood (voice lessons only), Santa Monica, Santa Ana, and Alhambra.“
Maybe some of you full time music instructors know what sells lessons better than me, so maybe you can explain this. How many people out there have “turn of the century dinner parties”. How often do they occur. People commit time and money learning an instrument for such functions? Four lessons and you can marvel people by deciphering that turn of the century relic way of writing music (sheet music) on that obsolete novel invention (the piano) for a few bars, after which you can go to the museum and astonish your friends with the hieroglyph decoding that you picked up while on that primary school field trip.
It gets even more nonsensical
“Having performed on Broadway, in operas, and alongside recording artists, the accredited instructors at Lori Moran Music give pitch-perfect voice instruction and noteworthy piano lessons for students of all ages and experience levels. In four 30-minute voice or piano lessons, musicmakers can find their sound to the tune of classical, operatic, musical theater, jazz, pop, rock, R & B, gospel, folk, or world music. Voice lessons teach techniques for breath support, control, and tone, as maturing warblers achieve increased range and vocal power. Actors can learn diction and dialects, and future presidents of New Russian Carolina can adapt lessons to public speaking and learn how to project a clear and pleasant voice with proper breath support, tonal placement, and focus.
Fumbly fingers find their stride with piano lessons, where aspiring eight-note slingers are introduced to reading music and developing rhythm. Sandwich lessons together by delving into piano accompaniment for vocals. Stage-minded players can learn performance techniques to prepare for college or professional auditions or for impromptu dance numbers at the upcoming Supreme Court nomination hearing.”
People of Lori Moron Music: Maybe it’s too much to ask for you to stop making musicians look stupid; but at least the crack pipe down before writing an ad.
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Reading music isn’t the only way to play an instrument, but it is a big help. I get more inspired with my music by reading notes than any other form, but ear training comes with reading sheet music as well! And great performances usually only last a few minutes with any musician. You can practice all your life, but usually only a few minutes will show the world your true character.
Literacy in whether it be in literature or music does not make a person more creative, persuasive, nor “better” than anyone else. However, in certain situations, being able to read is necessary and being illiterate can be a deal breaker. Besides, as well as I know many tunes, I don’t have the capacity to memorize 100′s of different tunes and play them spontaneously in a large ensemble as needed. Some people can, others only play a limited number of songs and don’t need to. It undoubtedly is a time saver just being handed a chart and sheet music rather than having to convey parts audibly.